Why the name change?

Last fall I shared my story for the first time on our local NBC affiliate and although the response was amazing, I have to admit committing to actually doing the interview after having sought it out, was very scary. When the actual date to film was scheduled, I doubted whether I should actually do it.

I talked about my thoughts and feelings with a good friend. She too is married and a mom of young kids. She said something that after many months has stuck with me. She said “Annie, you just have to own it.” Exactly! That’s what I need to do with my illness and really with my life in general. I have to own my struggles and my triumphs. This is the life I was given and the life I have chosen to live and if I didn’t own it I would be short changing myself, my God and my family. So, this is why I have decided to change both my blog and my facebook page. Facebook requires a 2 week waiting period before the new name will appear on my page and I am going to really buckle down and work on a logo and design for my webpage. I want this phrase to take on a life of its own. For me the focus will be on owning ones mental health but as I mentioned before, there are a lot of things in life we need to take by the reins and own – the good, the bad and the ugly – as they have all shaped us into the person we are right now, right here, on this day, at this exact time.

Once I decided to share my story publicly, I cannot begin to tell you how freeing it was. It’s like I no longer felt like I had to shy away from my illness or just say “I struggle with depression or anxiety.” I had to be real and share accurately that I have Bi-Polar Disorder and not say it with any shame or embarrassment. I can now share my illness in a conversation as easily as telling someone “I had cheerios for breakfast this morning.” It is what it is and let me tell you, I have never felt as good mentally and emotionally as I do right now - not in a manic kind of way. I remember sitting on the couch at my parents house during the extreme fog of depression and telling my mom “I don’t know what I am going to do with my life. I have no passions or hobbies or anything other than being a wife or a mom.” I was in complete despair and wanted more but couldn’t think clearly enough on how to even discover what “more” was. Yes, I want to be the best wife, mom etc that I can be but now I know that leaving my mark here on Earth will also involve helping others feel comfortable about owning their illness. I do not want anyone to go day in and day out feeling like they cannot share who they really are without feeling judged by others. I am excited to see where this phrase and mindset will go. I pray lives will be changed for the better and this will allow my passion of raising awareness of mental health issues to take on a whole new adventure!